'Tis the Season

Yesterday during my lunch break, I went to Target. After going to Target, my lunch break was mostly spent and I was feeling a bit hungrious. (Huh. I think I just made that word up and I rather like it. Hungrious. Anyway...) In front of the Target in Lawrence, Kansas, there is a McDonald's.

"Ah, yes," thinks I, "I can just go through the drive thru and get something quick to eat."

This particular McDonald's has a drive thru which I think may have been designed by an intellectually challenged individual. There is only one entrance/exit into the parking lot and after entering the parking lot, to get to the drive thru, one has to drive nearly all the way around the building. After getting the ordered cuisine, one has to then drive nearly all the way around the building yet again to get back to the entrance/exit.

So, I drive around the building and get in the drive thru line. There is a huge truck-like vehicle, I think it was a Tahoe, in front of me, and several cars behind me. I wait my turn, finally order my McChicken and pull forward... but the huge truck-like vehicle in front of me prevents me from pulling far enough forward for the guy behind me to get up to the speaker thing to order his own food. I can see that this does not make the man behind me very happy... he is drumming on his steering wheel and making irritated gestures.

The car in front of the huge truck-like vehicle pulls forward. The huge truck-like vehicle does not. This seems to irritate the man behind me quite a bit and his irritated gestures become a little larger.

The car in front of the truck-like vehicle pulls forward again. Still, the truck-like vehicle does not move. I'm starting to get a little concerned that irritated man behind me is just going to push his way forward and smash my nice little Neon into the back of the huge truck-like vehicle.
So I honk my horn.

This was not a lay-on-the-horn-move-you-idiot kind of honk. It was a quick little beep. The huge truck-like vehicle pulls forward to the window to pay, I pull forward as well, the man behind me can now order, everyone is happy.

As I pull forward to pay, I notice the woman who is driving the huge truck-like vehicle sticks her hand out the window. I'm not entirely sure at this point, but I has a sneaking suspicion that I have just been flipped off. I pay for my food and as I sit waiting for the line to move forward, I hear someone say, "So did that get you to the window any faster, you fruity breadstick?" (Note: those are not her exact words. I have edited them slightly to make them a bit more reader friendly.)

I'm mildly puzzled and wondering if I'm hearing things until I notice that the woman in the truck-like vehicle is giving me a look of death via her side mirror. She perhaps noticed my look of puzzlement and to make sure I knew I was the object of her raving, she flips me off again, this time, leaving no doubt in my mind that I have been flipped off.

She continues ranting. "You think that flowering beeping your friendly horn will get you to the dalmation window faster, do you, you fruity breadstick?" (Again, edited slightly.)

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

She continued raving until she pulls up to get her food. Once she gets her food, she pulls up just a tiny bit... and stops. I'm able to get my McChicken from the woman at the window by her leaning out the window back to me and my stretching forward.

I start to pull around the huge truck-like vehicle, and she moves so I can't get around her. There's only room for the drive-thru vehicles and one lane of traffic, and she drives down the center really, really, really slow so I can't pass her... slow enough that I'm coasting and having to keep hitting my brakes. She gets to the exit, which is divided from the entrance by a small median and has two lanes, one for turning right, one for turning left, and she stops in the middle of the exit, so I can't go either way until she moves.

And she doesn't move.

There are no cars coming.

And we sit there.

And sit there.

I finally went out through the entrance, smiling and waving at her as I passed her. She flipped me off.

Merry Christmas.